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For the 2004 Halloween season, Movie Criticism for the Retarded decided to pay tribute to the kings of truly independent cinema, Troma studios. Partly inspired by a meeting with Troma Prez Lloyd Kaufman and regular starlet Debbie Rochon, we went through and reviewed over a dozen of the studio's finest offerings. Here are those reviews.

CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH
" Crass humor? Check. Ridiculous gross-out gags? Check. Gratuitous breast shots? Check. A plotline involving the adverse effects of nuclear waste? Check."
SGT. KABUKIMAN, N.Y.P.D.
"Before he can say 'banzai', Harry starts noticing some changes. In the middle of a meeting with Captain Bender, his loafers metamorphasize into wooden sandals and his jeans start becoming a kimono." "
SURF NAZIS MUST DIE!
"If you go in expecting CITIZEN KANE, you're going to be disappointed (probably in a lot of things besides this movie, because that indicates that you're retarded.)"
TALES FROM THE CRAPPER
"Strain chooses to go undercover as a stripper herself, and meets the killer: an alien menace with an insect head and huge breasts. Vulgarity ensues."
TERROR FIRMER
"It's got the gross-out stuff in spades. Everything from fart jokes to exploding heads to feces pudding to naked fat dudes to body parts in jars is featured here. "
THE TOXIC AVENGER
"The beauty of all this, of course, is that it's a whole lot of fun. Lloyd Kaufman and crew don't pretend for a second that this film should be taken seriously."
THE TOXIC AVENGER PART 2
"Maybe this is where George Lucas got the idea for 'Midichlorians'. Once again, you take something cool like Toxie and castrate him by putting some goofy scientific explanation on his prowess."
THE TOXIC AVENGER PART 3
"And besides, it's got plenty of good humor. Nothing beats this line, which is easily the quote of the movie: Toxie proclaiming that 'I don't have a life! I have a half-life!'"
CITIZEN TOXIE: THE TOXIC AVENGER PART 4
"CITIZEN TOXIE is Troma at its best. This is Lloyd Kaufman at his most inspired. This should be the standard that all things Troma are held to for years to come."
TOXIC CRUSADERS: THE MOVIE
"Wait, what am I talking about. Unsatisfying? This is a 14-year-old failed kiddie cartoon based on a Troma movie."
TROMA'S WAR
"Lloyd and Michael should have known that the appeal of Troma films lies elsewhere. If we wanted to watch this kind of stuff, we'd rent some Sly Stallone or Chuck Norris flicks."
TROMEO AND JULIET
"Yeah, this thing is sure to tick off the purists. But honestly, I've met a lot of Shakespeare purists, and most of them are the kind of people who you'd want to tick off."

For more information about Troma, take a trip to their web site by clicking the banner below:


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For questions, comments, or the occasional stalking letter, send mail to Noel Wood. Please give proper credit when using any materials found within this site.


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